Welcome to BeCuriousNotFurious!

BeCuriousNotFurious arose out of our shared mission to help parents minimize the risks and reap the benefits of using digital devices together as a family. We didn’t expect that we’d be launching our blog during one of the most disruptive, challenging times in recent history; however, here we are, which is somewhat fortuitous. The formula we recommend for raising a family with technology just happens to apply just as well to guiding your family through a pandemic. In fact, the formula — Unplug from Worry, Plug-in to Your Kids and Teach Skills — applies to most any of the challenges you will face as a parent. Here’s a simple breakdown of the elements and benefits of this formula:

Unplug from Worry. Worry shuts down access to the parts of your brain you need to effectively cope with a challenge. It often makes you reactive rather than responsive and furious rather than curious, leading you to be less available to help or support your children. Learning how to manage your own worry and then model and teach emotion regulation skills for your children is incredibly important. Without these skills it can be challenging to use the next part of the formula – Plug-in to Your Kids.

Plug-in to Your Kids. The most powerful protective resource your children have is their relationship with you. Decades of research prove that a safe, secure, nurturing relationship with a caretaking adult reduces the risk of harm associated with almost every adverse life experience. Nurturing and protecting this relationship provides your children with the single most valuable and protective resource known to humans.

Teach Skills. Coping with challenges, using technology wisely, making important decisions, managing time, staying on task, etc. all require a bevy of underlying skills that take time, mentoring and practice to develop. These skills don’t just magically appear. When you keep expectations reasonable, realistic and developmentally appropriate then skills (and your relationship with your children) will flourish.

By using this formula, you can begin to wonder more and worry less, be curious instead of furious, and make well-being and relationship top priorities. When you do all this, most everything, including adjusting and adapting to life during the pandemic, will become easier to manage. Note, we said easier, not easy! Yet even though it’s challenging we are confident you have what it takes to cope a bit better every day. We humans are incredibly resilient, especially when we manage our worry and tap into our relationships. 

In the coming weeks we’ll be offering tips, insights and resources (all in bite-sized, manageable chunks) to help you understand and use this formula so you can get along better with yourself, your family and your technology both during these topsy, turvy times and well into the future. Welcome to Be Curious, Not Furious. We hope you visit often!

-Susan & Chris